Chapter 4 – Eliminate: Flex Your “No” Muscle
If we want to be free to focus, we must eliminate everything standing in our way. That doesn’t mean simply saying no to a lot of bad ideas; it also means turning down a ton of good ideas.
Time is a zero-sum game.
Every yes inherently contains a no.
Everything outside your Desire Zone is a possible candidate for elimination.
The yes-no-yes strategy to give a “positive no”:
- Yes. Say yes to yourself and to protect what is important to you. This should also include affirming the other person.
- No. The answer continues with a matter-of-fact no that is clear and sets boundaries. Do not leave any wiggle room or ambiguity.
- Yes. End the response by affirming the relationship again and by offering another solution to the person’s request.
How to renegotiate existing commitments:
- Take responsibility for making the commitment
- Reaffirm your willingness to honor your commitment
- Explain why honoring your commitment is not the best outcome for the other party
- Offer to help solve the problem with them
How to create a Not-To-Do List:
- Start with the obvious candidates for elimination
- List the meetings, relationships, and opportunities you should never pursue